oh god the rape fog is back!
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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