Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
