I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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