She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
