I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
