i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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