I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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