I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
