just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize