it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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