i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
