the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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