I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
