Duck Duck Cougar?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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