id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
