As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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