I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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