just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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