guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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