The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
