We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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