can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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