i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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