New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
