Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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