I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
