so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
no, he came in my armpit
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
