Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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