I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
