can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
