Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
