your parents love me but you hate me
I want to stick my p in your. b.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
