I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Randomize