I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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