He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
