We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
