so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize