Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
