And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
