uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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