im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Randomize