Operation Purity has been aborted
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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