I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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