Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
