we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
