I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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