the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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