Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere. http://tfl.nu/yvq7
  Replies (3) Good night (517) Bad night (2109)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth." http://tfl.nu/jx23
  Replies (5) Good night (2841) Bad night (829)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk? http://tfl.nu/2ehj
  Replies (26) Good night (7133) Bad night (884)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog. http://tfl.nu/c9by
  Replies (29) Good night (2233) Bad night (4926)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness" http://tfl.nu/ogi9
  Replies (5) Good night (2913) Bad night (891)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus. http://tfl.nu/e2af
  Replies (9) Good night (4133) Bad night (940)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night... http://tfl.nu/vdnw
  Replies (11) Good night (2823) Bad night (969)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one. http://tfl.nu/b8h5
  Replies (27) Good night (828) Bad night (6652)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check. http://tfl.nu/kz2a
  Replies (7) Good night (2446) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (778): Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25% http://tfl.nu/4mvy
  Replies (5) Good night (1075) Bad night (541)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits. http://tfl.nu/xhq2
  Replies (1) Good night (645) Bad night (243)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with

  (1-210): View more from Texas

  You went over didnt you?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with (1-210): You went over didnt you? http://tfl.nu/ykhn
  Replies (5) Good night (904) Bad night (558)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (219): My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle. http://tfl.nu/g4yj
  Replies (11) Good night (1381) Bad night (414)
• Favorite

  (956): View more from Texas

  I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (956): I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town http://tfl.nu/qkc2
  Replies (0) Good night (626) Bad night (224)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight... http://tfl.nu/vm1g
  Replies (6) Good night (194) Bad night (470)

Randomize