Texts From Last Night

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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.

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  (919): so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog. http://tfl.nu/73qd
  Replies (444) Good night (114652) Bad night (10601)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!

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  (502): WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?! http://tfl.nu/ajcv
  Replies (16) Good night (1353) Bad night (4887)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.

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  (318): I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky. http://tfl.nu/cr7y
  Replies (36) Good night (3988) Bad night (1066)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this

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  (516): I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this http://tfl.nu/xbb7
  Replies (21) Good night (1133) Bad night (4433)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.

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  (404): and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this. http://tfl.nu/r1ft
  Replies (14) Good night (1117) Bad night (3012)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor

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  (804): For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor http://tfl.nu/12jc
  Replies (5) Good night (4560) Bad night (924)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend

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  (309): They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend http://tfl.nu/32kc
  Replies (2) Good night (2351) Bad night (764)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.

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  (+44): Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked. http://tfl.nu/926l
  Replies (11) Good night (1213) Bad night (2099)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport

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  (952): I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport http://tfl.nu/ckgb
  Replies (2) Good night (531) Bad night (1554)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again

  (1-425): View more from Washington

  But he was really hot

  (1-425): View more from Washington

  Glad you don't have HIV

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  (425): I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again (1-425): But he was really hot (1-425): Glad you don't have HIV http://tfl.nu/se36
  Replies (4) Good night (498) Bad night (959)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success

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  (413): The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success http://tfl.nu/ro65
  Replies (2) Good night (528) Bad night (935)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.

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  (217): List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list. http://tfl.nu/996t
  Replies (17) Good night (1502) Bad night (598)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.

  (1-706): View more from Georgia

  You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Touche.

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  (706): To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid. (1-706): You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man. (706): Touche. http://tfl.nu/xj0m
  Replies (4) Good night (1151) Bad night (551)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.

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  (405): ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction. http://tfl.nu/wfsg
  Replies (1) Good night (284) Bad night (534)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.

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  (+44): The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar. http://tfl.nu/70b2
  Replies (6) Good night (389) Bad night (1111)

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