Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
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I slept with him to see his dog one last time
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
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I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.