Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later