I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.