I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
