so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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