ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
