So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
