I need to stop coming to work sober
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize