I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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