nut hugger
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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