He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
