is your mom at the bar?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
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