my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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